Explorations in Unworthiness

So recently I’ve been on my unworthiness issues and I thought I’d share a conversation I had with myself.

To say that I am unworthy does not completely explain what I’m feeling. I feel as though it doesn’t matter what I do, I won’t get it because I’m just person 123,897 out of billions. Who am I? There is no one out there who is going to listen and if they do, I will block it because I don’t deserve it. I’m not special.
What makes this true?
That’s just the way it’s always been.
Can you change it?
No.
Why?
Because I’m just person #123,897 out of billions.
What if there was another truth?
What other truth?
The truth that says you do.
Well, I suppose that would work for other people.
What makes you different from other people?
No, that just it. I’m not different from other people.
Then it will work for you.
What will?
Choosing another truth. You said that it works for other people. Be those people.
How?
Choose another truth.
How do you do that?
Decide what you want. Choose it.
But aren’t all truths just that? Truths.
Yes, and they all exist at the same time. Choose the one you want.
You mean, if I choose: I am unworthy, I will be unworthy and if I choose to be worthy, I will be worthy.
Sure.
How do I choose worthiness?
Recognize when you feel unworthy and tell yourself that is not the truth you choose. How do you feel when you feel worthy or the possibility of being worthy?
Unstable.
That’s good because you’re wrestling with the two feelings. Focus on the feeling of being worthy.
You mean that out of billions of people, we’re all worthy.
Yes.
Wow.
Yes. To be worthy does not mean that others are unworthy.
I’m special?
Yep.
And everyone is special. How?
Everyone is born with unique abilities, but some never use them.
Because they feel unworthy?
Yep, or they’ve never had this conversation. The world teaches them that only some people are special.
This is okay, right? It’s not like…hubris?
Hubris is where you think you’re better than everyone else. Do you feel that?
No, well, not always.
We’ll work on that another time.