Hugging, Respect, and Love

So, I’ve been thinking about this “hug issue “.  To be honest, it makes me a little uncomfortable. I get it. People feel they have been controlled and abused by the male patriarchy and they feel they are taking back that control and putting a stop to the abuse. I am all for that but my concern is that we making broad sweeping judgements about people we know nothing about and cutting off avenues of affection which could wind up be detrimental to our mental health. We, as a people, are not very knowledgeable about love. We confuse it with power and control.

 

Now I’m not trying to belittle what they’re trying to do. On the contrary, I congratulate them for their courage. Right now, I’d like to talk to those who might be feeling at a loss because something vital has been taken away. You know who you are. You’re feeling a little disgruntled at being told you can’t hug anymore. The truth is they’re not telling you that. They’re telling you to learn other ways of expressing love and appreciation because the way you’re communicating these are not comfortable to them. I know, you’re kinesthetic and that’s how you do it. I ask that you think about what’s important: the message or how it is delivered. If the message is more important than the delivery than you’re coming from the right place. If the delivery is more important than I ask you where is this coming from? The true nature of love is not control or abuse. It’s the absolute appreciation of the existence of another. There is no fear. There is no control and there’s absolutely no abuse. If we come from this place, we don’t need to convey this message in any set way, and we are open to the “Tea Analogy” I’m sorry I don’t know who originated this analogy but it’s brilliant. If you know please post it in the comments below.

The “Tea Analogy“ is simple. You want to give someone some tea. You ask them if they like some tea. You wait for an answer. If they say yes, you give them tea. If they say no, you don’t. You don’t give them tea. You don’t try to convince them to have tea. You don’t act petulant because they said no, and you certainly don’t force it on them. This allows both parties mutual respect.

Now in this circumstance, if you are offering and the offer is declined, you get to use your words to convey your appreciation and value of the other. How many of us hear people tell us how valued we are? I’m betting-not many. If words are not accepted, you get to practice Deepok Chopra’s Law of Giving and Receiving of his Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. Sending love and appreciation to them from your heart or spirit. This too will have a positive effect. It’s sort of a blessing and you’re on your way.

Can you imagine? What would happen if we treated everyone we meet this way? Imagine giving and receiving love anonymously to and from everyone we encounter throughout our day? How would that make you feel?

I invite you to try it for a month.

Until next time.